HEAL THAT SHIT with Alissa Buethe PODCAST Episode 9 - Choices
One of the themes that has come up several times for me in the last month and for people in my social circle is the idea of choices. I think that is something so many of us forget. That we always have a choice. Even when we feel trapped. Even when we feel like we are a victim of our circumstances. Even when we can’t control the outcome. We always have choices available to us.
And in those situations I think we often get hung up on the choices that aren’t ours to make. We can’t choose what someone else does. We can’t choose how someone else reacts. We can’t choose what someone else thinks or believes.
But we do have autonomy over ourselves. We can choose a different action. We can choose a different circumstance. We can choose a different thought. We can choose to see things from a different angle. We can choose to stay or go. We can choose to put ourselves first. We can choose to shift our values. We can choose to say no to things that don’t feel good to us and that don’t serve us. And we can choose those things regardless of what someone else does or what they think or how they may respond to the choice we make.
The key is allowing ourselves to step back enough and look at our situation from a wider angle. To gain awareness of what is actually happening around us and how we are choosing to participate in it. Looking radically at our own thoughts, beliefs, choices, behaviors, and making changes accordingly rather than looking outside of ourselves at other people and their thoughts, beliefs, choices, and behaviors wishing they would choose differently. That is not within our control. But what we do is.
The biggest thing standing in your way of anything you desire is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection and abandonment. And the best thing about fear is that it is a result of your thoughts. And your thoughts are something you can change anytime you choose.
Heal That Shit with Alissa Buethe - Episode 8: Full Moon Release
One of our greatest gifts as humans on the planet is our free will. But we have to have the discernment needed to look at our situations differently and the courage to take action.
So my question to you is this. What thoughts are getting in the way of you living the life you want to live? What fears are driving your thoughts? What fears have you buried so deeply you have hidden them from yourself? What ways have you created your own prison and continue to victimize yourself with your own thoughts?
The minute we take responsibility for our own behavior is when we are set free from those things that hold us back. But if we continue to look outside of ourselves and point our fingers and blame other people or situations or whatever, we will continue to remain prisoners of those circumstances.
I continue to challenge myself to break out of these fear based decisions and mindsets by asking myself to do something scary every single day. I’m not talking about things like jumping off a cliff or skydiving, although those would definitely qualify. I mean anything I am hesitant to do because fear is getting in the way.
Sometimes it is to reach out to a friend when fear is telling me that it would end in rejection. Sometimes it is to apply for that job I think I am not qualified for. Sometimes it is to do that one task I have been avoiding for no apparent reason. If there is something I feel called to do but find myself talking myself out of it that is usually a good indicator THAT will be the scary thing I do that day.
And in those moments where I feel resistance to do that scary thing, I ask myself these 2 questions:
Would the person I am trying to become be afraid of this? Would the person I am trying to become make this choice?
Because the person I am trying to become is not afraid of anything. She is fearless, disciplined, intentional, and values things like connection, integrity, authenticity, using her voice, and honoring herself. THAT is the person I want making decisions for me.
This is my challenge to you this week.
Take some time out of your day, somewhere quiet, and really think about who you are and who you want to become. Where do you want to be 6 months from now, or 6 years from now? What would truly make you happy?
Ask yourself what values are important to you that would help you align with making that life and vision of yourself a reality?
What choices would you need to make moving forward to start living that life right now? Which of those choices scares you the most?
After you have done that work, I want you to challenge yourself to make one different choice for yourself. One that is scary. One that is in alignment with the values you chose for yourself. One that is possible for you to do today regardless of how big or small it might be. Then I want you to repeat that process every day this week and see what impact it has on your happiness, your confidence, and your self esteem.
Because the progress you make in life towards your happiness is all in the choices you make and the action you take. And I’ll say it again, one of the greatest gifts we have as humans on this planet is our ability to make a new choice. We just have to step back from our circumstances enough to see the infinite possibilities available to us, even when they are scary.